According to the commercial, it would be easy. I had to have it. It's all I thought about. I feared the day would never come. Imagine, my own oven. I could bake, and it would be easy. What more could a little girl want?

I got it. I used it. It wasn't easy. Maybe the most difficult part of it was watching and waiting for my dad to finish assembling it. Even that wasn't easy. It almost seemed cruel to require a little girl to wait for her cake to bake by the heat of a lightbulb. Definitely, this wasn't easy. So, I ate the dough. 

Add a decade or so, and find me standing in front of an actually working stove in my very own kitchen. Not surprisingly, it wasn't easy. Yet, I wanted to nest in my home. Now a wife, I dreamed of being a mom. I pictured what my baby would look like in a baby gap hat. Walking by the baby stores at the mall, I would stop to hold the tiny shoes and just imagine how wonderful it would be. Fluffy pink dresses, cute jeans overalls with matching socks were soon hung neatly in a small closet in my home. All was clean and organized just right. Easy.

Mid pregnancy creeped up on me, and I quickly learned that pregnancy wasn't easy. Day after day I realized again, this wasn't going to be easy. 

As the pregnancy came to a close, I found myself in a Lamaze class that seemed pretty easy. The final exam for the class however, was not.

Years have come and gone bringing six pregnancies, six children, six to nurse, and more diapers and spit up cloths than my machine could hold. The baby gap hat remained on the dresser. It still looked cute, but I was too busy burping, dressing, feeding, carrying to even remember to bring it along when I left the house. Leaving with a baby, wasn't easy.

Why? How could a mom with so much love and dedication be worked over so much? Why did I find myself on the floor trying to pick playdoh up off the carpet with a spit up blob on my shoulder? I often wondered how they could need me when I had absolutely nothing left to give. Middle of the night, early in the morning, holding, loving, teaching, cleaning, laughing, and wiping, it didn't take long to realize that motherhood wasn't going to be easy.

Is it supposed to be? Did God really intend for us to sacrifice ourselves continually for these little people in our lives? Did He show love for his children this way as an example for us? Was it easy?

Today I borrowed my son's car. Searching for a music cd, I reached for the glove department. I thought of the many moms that have found something they wished they hadn't in the glove departments of their son's car. I opened his, and there sat his Bible.

 I offered my life for the sake of his. Sacrificing my body, my time, my energy, my days, to show him where to have his eyes fixed, wasn't easy. Yet, I've had the time of my life. I have found that the sleepless nights holding a sick baby, midnight nursings, temper tantrums to handle, and the cheerios stuck on my floor have actually held the wonder. There are blessings that come, which only a mom can know.

Motherhood. I had to have it. It's all I thought about. What more could a little girl want?